Saying Yes (A guest post from a new friend)

Saying YES!

I suppose I should introduce myself and let you know why I’m here. Well, posting here in this virtual world! I’m Ashley & me and the hubs (Jeremey) have 4 kiddos, 2 of whom joined our family through this crazy, amazing, curious thing called ADOPTION! 


Brief summary…we have two 6 year olds and two 3 year olds! We adopted our oldest daughter, Rose, from the U.S. when she was 9 months old and our biological son, Grayden was 4 months old. (Instant twins!) and we adopted our son Kwesi in November last year. He is 7 months older than our biological daughter, Aubrey. (Almost instant twins, again!)

If you survived that and are still reading, I would like to let you in a little on our world. We never planned on adopting, but with Rose, the situation was such that when it was presented, we kind of just said yes without thinking. I would like to sound noble and tell you that we had been dreaming of adopting for years, but that just was not the case!

No, actually it was quite the reverse. We had NEVER talked about it, had NO training, read NO adoption books, and we did not know one single family that had adopted at that time. And overnight, we had two babies instead of one. Rose is a joy and was a sweet, easy, baby thank goodness! However we had no clue what we were doing and most days as a new mom of instant twins, I was a justifiable emotional mess.

Fast forward two or three years, and by the time Aubrey was one year old, this conversation about adoption arose again in our home. We had made it through the transition period after adopting Rose, and we began to see what a plan God had for her life for her to be in our family. We marveled at what would have happened had we simply said no and walked away, which we could have easily done. This got us thinking…how many children in this world just need a family to say yes to them?

In March of 2011, we decided it was time to adopt again. We had spent weeks in prayer to make this decision. We sought the counsel of trusted friends and mentors, most of whom thought we were nuts and weren’t exactly encouraging. I remember one’s advice clearly. “You guys, your quiver really is full. Do you know how expensive weddings are?  How will you send all of your children to college?” Yeah, ouch.

We shut out the negative nancys and proceeded knowing that we had God’s blessing. We discovered this precious little face on a photolisting, and called to inquire about him. We just KNEW he was to be our son. Sounds silly to say that, I know, but it’s true.

There is really no way to describe to you what the adoption process is like, but I’ll try. You run around getting fingerprints, notarizing papers coming out your ears, gathering documents you haven’t needed in years, and having a stranger (social worker) invade your life and ask you about everything from how you discipline your kids to how often you and your husband have “relations” (awkward). You write checks for thousands of dollars, and usually you don’t have it to begin with. You empty out your savings. You sell anything you can think of that isn’t glued or nailed down in your home. Sometimes you sell your home. You empty out your retirement account. You come up with crazy ideas for fundraisers and work your butt off to try to get people to see the need. Your friends think you’re nuts. Some people, sometimes your best friends, even start to avoid you because of this crazy idea you have taken on that they just don’t understand. You don’t care.  All this to say YES to a child you have never laid eyes on. You wait and wait and wait some more to hear good news as each milestone comes up in the process. You wait for the beloved day you get to actually meet this person who has already become a part of your family in your souls.

Meanwhile, the kids were praying for Kwesi every night to have enough food and water for the day and to be safe. They prayed for the other children at the orphanages. They prayed for him to get home to us soon. They prayed for God to send enough money to move us forward. They prayed that Kwesi would get a hug from someone that day. It was literally gut-wrenching the stuff our children came up with on their own to pray for over Kwesi. They even set the table with “Kwesi’s spot” for months before he came home.

Saying yes changes you. It changes your family. It changes your children. It is not always easy, but oh my soul is it worth it! Now our Kwesi has been home since March and he has LIT up our lives with joy and laughter! Our home, our family, our church, everywhere that boy goes he just lights up the world. I can’t possibly imagine what it would be like had we said no and walked away. Which we easily could have done.

The Rummels have said YES! Amazingly, their son and ours know each other. They were at the same orphanage and know each other by name.  I hope and pray one day they can meet each other and find solace in knowing that they both came from the same place. They will share something together that is special! Through all the crazy days that are to come, the Rummels will need the support of all of us in a lot of different ways. I would say look at how you can support them in this amazing decision, and do it! If it’s through encouragement, do it! If it’s financially, do it! If it’s through prayer, do it! None of your support will go unnoticed (trust me!) and God rewards those who support others in their pursuit of God’s will for their lives. Every time. Say Yes with them!